I bet Sarah Palin is a cougar in the sack

Mac: did you watch the vp debates?

Smartass Pooczar: yeah

Mac: you lovin palin aren't you?

Mac: her daughters are hot

Mac: how can you not vote for her

Smartass Pooczar: she is a moron

Mac: thats... the only negative.

Smartass Pooczar: and while normally i say whoever is president, it doesn't affect me in any way.... if she ever became president, this country would be fucked

Mac: pretty much...

Mac: i will be fucking dumb founded if the republicans win

Mac: FUCK

Mac: i'm watching debate now.

Mac: you dumb bitch.

Mac: you did not just fucking say that we should leave business regulations in the hands of businesses...

Smartass Pooczar: she's dumb

Mac: fuck!

Mac: i can't stay mad at her, cause I bet she's a cougar in the sack

Smartass Pooczar: she's not a bad looking woman

Mac: I can totally picture angry sex with Palin

Mac: Yelling counterpoints to her

Mac: as you slam her against the bed board

Mac: Tax cuts for the rich do not help anyone but the rich, slam- slam

Mac: the trickle down effect is a myth- slam- slam

Mac: There is no proof of enough oil in our coasts or alaska, and even if there was unregulated oil would still not change the price of gasoline - SLAM - SLAM

Mac: Crude is 99 dollars a barrel, Gas should be 2.75-- What the fuck you bitch. SLAM

Mac: the last one would've been a donkey punch

He is that dense.

Gary: Where were you last night?
Mac: fighting crime
Mac: I mean
Mac: eh fuck it
Mac: i'm a superhero
Gary: haha
Gary: Definitely needed your commentary last night.
Gary: I got stuck as some kind of bizzarro third wheel
Mac: who was there?
Gary: Wes and I with Angie (girl Wes is trying to bang) and her lesbian friend.
Mac: good thing I wasn't there
Mac: I would probably ruin things inadvertantly on account of being bored
Gary: That is all I wanted.
Gary: At least is would have been less awkward at times.
Mac: well you gotta mention that next time you say you want to hang out
Gary: Haha, I didn't know this was going to happen.
Gary: Ah, whatev...
Mac: haha you should've asked the lesbian
Mac: "are you really a lesbian are you just trying to avoid me hitting on you"
Gary: Oh, so much I would have said if Wes wasn't trying to mack it.
Gary: I tried to be good, but I know if you were there you wouldn't feel as obliged.
Mac: haha and how
Mac: but if you want to actually hit a party come with me friday to a barbeque in new haven
Gary: Friday?
Mac: yup
Gary: Hmmmm......
Gary: I'll see.
Gary: May actually skip Battlestar.
Mac: priorities man
Mac: when's the last time you've been "out"
Mac: you know of the closet.
Gary: Not in a while.
Mac: ZING!
Gary: O, a LOOOOONG time
Gary: haha
Gary: I may actually have a girl to bring along.
Gary: I'll have to see.
Mac: oooo
Mac: look at you
Mac: not being gay
Gary: I'm so proud of myself.
Mac: where did you meet her?
Gary: At the gym.
Mac: nice
Gary: Yeah, I haven't been talking to her too much yet, but this may be an oppurtunity.
Mac: do it now
Mac: don't invite her last fucking minute
Mac: she's not one of your friends, she'll probably actually have plans for a friday night that’s not "Battlestar"
Gary: I won't see her again until Thursday.
Gary: Haha, well she works on Fridays and gets off later, so I'll see.
Mac: you fuck… you didn't even get her number yet?
Gary: I work slowly, VERY SLOWLY.
Mac: well here's your fucking chance
Mac: though it's extra slim
Mac: since your throwing this on her last minute
Gary: I will see what's happening.
Gary: If I knew yesterday I could have asked her then.
Mac: you should've mention it
Mac: i wouldn't have cared but I might've remembered a social event you could bring her too
Mac: or fuck it, if you really like the girl
Mac: MAKE AN EVENT
Gary: I may be able to see her this Tuesday. That would be ideal.
Gary: And I will make an event.
Mac: if you’re thinking battlestar or videogames you are an idiot
Gary: You don't think she'll like battlestar. Mark and Liz are nice folks.
Mac: hmm
Mac: no your right
Mac: who doesn't love battlestar
Gary: I knew you'd see it my way.
Mac: alright i gotta go for a run
Mac: think "bar grill"
Mac: think "down town"
Gary: Alright.
Mac: think "what to do normal people do"
Gary: I'm not that dense.

They are props, I swear.

Smartass PooCzar: have our guns and ski masks been shipped yet?
Wes: yup
Smartass PooCzar: excellent

Like Clockwork

Mac: i am farting
Mac: like fucking crazy
Mac: fucking white castle
Smartass PooCzar: oh man
Smartass PooCzar: so am i
Smartass PooCzar: it's fucking insane
Mac: i knoooow
Mac: what the fuuuuuck
Mac: it's like a goddamn gas chamber around me
Smartass PooCzar: like i don't want to fall asleep, because i might die from gas poisoning
Mac: it's fucking rare for me to fart so much, i can smell it everywhere
Smartass PooCzar: i let a few rip at wes's
Mac: hahah
Smartass PooCzar: but they've been coming full force since i got home
Mac: yaaah
Mac: that's what i'm talking about
Mac: every 10 seconds or so
Mac: like fucking clockwork
Smartass PooCzar: horrible, smelly clockwork

On friendship part 2

Mac: wes and gary went to go see iron man
Mac: so i guess it all worked out
Smartass PooCzar: and they didn't invite us? those fuckers

Previously...

Smartass PooCzar: yo
Mac: yo
Mac: is there a movie theatre near wings over?
Smartass PooCzar: that's what i'm checking now
Smartass PooCzar: oh shit, highlander is playing at the criterion
Mac: OH SHIT
Mac: princes of the universe
Mac: tell me it's like 4 dollars to go
Smartass PooCzar: i dont know
Smartass PooCzar: it's also at 1130 tonight only
Mac: fuck that
Smartass PooCzar: ok, there's a theater 4 miles from wings over
Mac: Oh shit
Mac: Wings over IronMan
Mac: i am down
Mac: wanna call wes or gary?
Smartass PooCzar: eh
Smartass PooCzar: you know if we call them, they'll want to go later
Mac: yah
Smartass PooCzar: and it'll take them like 45 minutes to get ready
Mac: right...
Mac: alright fuck 'em
Mac: let's go

...

Mac: yo
Mac: whats a good song to symbolize the holocaust

On Friendships

wes: you are hella gay
wes: lets not be friends anymore
Smartass PooCzar: that's fine by me, we don't talk much anyway
wes: hey it was Mac
wes: but i kinda feel the same way
wes: just be cooler

On Religion and Hotwings 2

Mac: want to invite anyone else
Mac: garry
Mac: he's black
Smartass PooCzar: yeah, i guess i'll call him
Mac: you don't have too
Mac: it was just suggestion/joke
Mac: i'll call wes
Smartass PooCzar: heh
Smartass PooCzar: ok, garry's in
Smartass PooCzar: but he won't be eating chicken because it's lent
Mac: what
Mac: WHAT?
Mac: how can that dude resist chicken.
Mac: all my jokes have no merit now
Smartass PooCzar: it's friday, no meat for catholics
Smartass PooCzar: normally that would deter me, but i haven't been a real catholic in like 8 years
Mac: i thought that was being a real catholic

On Religion and Hotwings

Smartass PooCzar: i'm cooking some food right now, so i'm not heading anywhere any time soon
Mac: weeeak dude
Mac: it better be damn near delicious
Smartass PooCzar: it is/will be
Mac: cause i'm gonna be ordering some wings over pretty soon
Mac: DELICIOUS
Smartass PooCzar: ooh, nice
Smartass PooCzar: yeah, general tso's chicken for me
Smartass PooCzar: and it should be done, so i'm gonna go eat that now
Mac: well as long as it's some delicous chicken dish
Smartass PooCzar: it was a delicious chicken dish
Mac: damn
Mac: now I'm hungry
Smartass PooCzar: sucks for you
Mac: no dude
Mac: it sucks for you
Smartass PooCzar: not really
Smartass PooCzar: i'm doing alright
Mac: yah i know
Mac: but how do you feel knowing, that everyone you love will die!?
Smartass PooCzar: we all gotta die sometime
Mac: how about this, your religion is false and there is no god!
Smartass PooCzar: i'm an atheist, so that actually fucks with my head
Mac: awesome
Smartass PooCzar: if atheism is false, and there is no god, that's fucking weird
Mac: think about it
Mac: also your parents like to have sex
Mac: lots of sex
Smartass PooCzar: lalalalala i don't hear you
Mac: you're an athiest? what happened God didn't give you that bike you prayed for?
Smartass PooCzar: no, i'm not atheist, i just thought that response was better than "fuck you, God is real"
Mac: touche
Smartass PooCzar: i was raised catholic, and i haven't been to church in like 8 years, but i'm not yet at the atheist level
Mac: but atleast I made you think about your parents having sex
Mac: so you're more agnostic huh
Smartass PooCzar: lalalala no you didn't
Smartass PooCzar: yeah
Smartass PooCzar: i went through a brief period of believing in the ancient greek gods- zeus, hera, ares, etc..
Mac: hahaha
Mac: that is awesome,
Mac: i hope that's a joke
Mac: otherwise it is totally not awesome
Mac: but still hilarious
Smartass PooCzar: it is a joke
Smartass PooCzar: but i figure it's just as reasonable as any other crackpot religion
Mac: yah, and there gods totally wanted to have sex with us on a constant basis
Mac: that would've been sweet
Mac: accept for the dude gods... say no to bro rape
Smartass PooCzar: yeah, that part of the religion is no good
Mac: i'm gonna go order me some wings!
Mac: want an order
Mac: you can pick it up tommorow cold
Smartass PooCzar: nah
Mac: k dude don't say I didn't ask
Smartass PooCzar: i won't say that
Mac signed off at 9:33:36 PM.
Mac signed on at 9:40:00 PM.
Mac: oooh shit
Mac: there gonna taste like goddamn magic
Smartass PooCzar: how exactly does magic taste?
Mac: like crispy fried hotwings dipped in creamy blue cheese dressing
Smartass PooCzar: that sounds good
Mac: yah magic tastes pretty good

animals + sports = profit

Smartass PooCzar: wow, the wow video is almost at 162,000 views
Mac: you're an internet sensation
Smartass PooCzar: i am
Mac: you should just film yourself doing stuff
Mac: like a spinoff
Mac: you're fraiser
Smartass PooCzar: well, frasier was successful
Smartass PooCzar: i'd be more like joey
Mac: hmmm
Mac: yes.
Mac: you would be like joey
Smartass PooCzar: no one would watch, but they wouldn't have anything better to put in my timeslot, so they'll keep me around for like two seasons
Mac: i never saw single episode of joey
Smartass PooCzar: neither did i, but i was aware of it
Mac: i wanted to, just out of morbid curiosity
Smartass PooCzar: matt leblanc did not always make the best career decisions
Mac: naaah
Mac: that gorilla baseball movie was pretty good
Smartass PooCzar: that was my specific example of horrible decision making he's done
Mac: that was comedy gold
Mac: a monkey! playing baseball!
Smartass PooCzar: Minor league. Major friendship.
Mac: what was that movie called?
Smartass PooCzar: Ed
Smartass PooCzar: http://www.impawards.com/1996/ed.html
Mac: ahhh
Mac: that's it
Mac: a simpler time
Mac: when animals + sports = profit
Smartass PooCzar: air bud
Mac: and it's 18 sequels
Smartass PooCzar: holy shit, there was an air bud where the dog played volleyball
Mac: oh yah, that ones my favorite
Smartass PooCzar: i kinda want to see that
Smartass PooCzar: also, does teen wolf count as animals + sports?
Mac: it's one of those proto movies
Mac: 80ish
Mac: they didn't solidify the animal sports equation yet
Smartass PooCzar: yeah, that's more manimals + sports i guess
Mac: sports movies were still popular then without the inclusion of animals- it was at the tail end of that era
Mac: we should have our own history channel show
Smartass PooCzar: haha
Smartass PooCzar: On today's show, movies starring animals playing sports... when, why, and how did this phenomenon come about?
Mac: haha i'd watch it
Mac: we should fucking do it
Smartass PooCzar: haha
Mac: we'll dress up like those history channel dorks and just spout out random facts, and then show clips from the acutal movie
Smartass PooCzar: bow ties
Mac: HELL YAH BOW TIES
Mac: think of topics that can fill up 5 minute chunks
Smartass PooCzar: animals + sports could easily
Mac: facts are entirely optional
Mac: yah animal sports is a good one
Mac: Matt Leblanc would be a hilarious topic too
Smartass PooCzar: monkeys/movies in general is good
Mac: thats right
Mac: dunston checks in
Smartass PooCzar: i mean, clint eastwood did i think two movies with a chimp
Mac: monkey movies are where sitcom side characters go to die
Smartass PooCzar: matt leblanc could fill five minutes
Smartass PooCzar: hell, all the friends cast
Mac: in the end we should somehow tie it into WWII
Smartass PooCzar: we could talk about there will be blood, which could lead us towards the war era
Mac: i don't even want to be remind about that movie
Mac: i'm gonna not see the new rambo out of spite
Mac: for having watched that movie
Smartass PooCzar: yeah, i planned on not seeing rambo all along
Smartass PooCzar: meet the spartans, on the other hand
Mac: oh god
Mac: don't tell me you want to see that
Smartass PooCzar: haha, no
Mac: don't forget this idea
Smartass PooCzar: oh don't worry i will
Mac: lol
Smartass PooCzar: just like every other idea we ever have
Mac: yaaah
Mac: hahaha
Mac: it was a good one though
Mac: i'm sure they were all good ones